Then, I saw my diabetes..

2:14 AM
Then, I saw my diabetes..

Last Friday, I had an appointment with my diabeto. 
I had absolutely no desire to go there.  
We made the point. 
Looked at my blood sugars. 
They are more and more "crappy". 
Studied what we could do. 

He has to approach the "sleeve" again. I declined "again". 
He told me "your blood sugar will be" better "again, 
I said" we'll see "again, and we'll see nothing at all ...  

We went around, 

he told me about his 4 / 5 patients with whom to break the resistance insulino, he was on another way to approach the disease.I said "why not." Bored by my hypers everyday.

"I test and I try to see if it works". 
I admit, I do not like. I do not like being a guinea pig. 

I confess, it's been a week since I ruminate. 
It's been a week since I did not "test" her treatment. I stay on my "normal" treatment. 
It's been a week, I do not test myself. My piercing pen is broken, and I'm lacking sensors. 
It's been a week, I do not trust anymore. 
In truth, I have more confidence in the medical world since July. 

It's been a week, I'm wondering. Questions about my illness, about my follow-up, about my relationship with my diabetes. For two years, I have not been able to create the link.

It has been a week since I fled diabetes. In truth it's been longer, but I'm not honest, I'm lying to myself. 

I do not have solutions. 
Finally, I think so. But I have to find my way to the idea. 
It's time to change ... 
It's really time to change ...